Parenting: 5 basic skills
Adolescence is the time when big changes occur with a child. He is no longer small, but also not an adult. When raising a teenager, parents should adjust their skills and make them more effective.
Consider the areas in which adolescents are changing:
moral development. Teenagers strive for justice, they follow the beliefs of their parents, adopt their values;
emotional development. Adolescents undergo sexual development, so they are well aware of their feelings and reactions in this regard. Teenagers are easily excited by external stimuli;
social development. Adolescents spend most of their free time not with family, but with friends, peers, or at school. This is a completely different world where adolescents become sensitive to what other people say or do – in particular, representatives of the opposite sex;
mental development. Teenagers constantly argue and react to everything. They often express their opinions and challenge universally recognized authorities and opinions;
physical development. Teenagers are overly obsessed with the changes that happen to their body. Even an ordinary pimple can be a disaster for a teenager.
How to connect with a teenager
discipline and limitations. It is important to discuss with the teenager which behavior is acceptable and which is not;
talk about sex. Talk with a teenager about sex, talk about sexually transmitted diseases. If it’s embarrassing for you to talk about this with a teenager, let him read books on this subject;
support and help. Help the teenager make the right life decisions. Talk with him about career choice, money, school, friends and relationships with the opposite sex;
communication. If you have little contact with a teenager, this can cause problems. Teenagers need personal space, so you should respect this need, but always stay in touch;
accept the behavior of the child. Your relationship with a teenager may be far from ideal. You should not expect that he will always obey you and follow all your instructions. Accept the imperfect behavior of the child and all his antics. This will help you keep in touch with him;
show respect. It is very important to respect the teenager and be prepared for the fact that he will change. Every teenager is unique and you should accept all of his traits.
Effective skills to help you educate a teenager
1. The magic phrase “for now”
Many of us believe that the words we speak affect our reality. Often a child pronounces phrases like: “I don’t understand anything in mathematics”, “I don’t know how to swim”, etc. You should supplement these phrases a bit.
When you say that you do not know how to do something, you mean that you are reconciled to this fact and do not want to change anything. If you say “for now” at the end of the phrase, this will change its meaning.
“I don’t understand mathematics yet, but I can understand it if I study daily.” The phrase “for now” gives hope for positive changes. Explain to your child that everyone can achieve whatever they want. He is able to understand everything that he wants, and to develop any skills, if he really wants to. Teach your child to use the phrase “for now” and see the changes that will happen after that.
2. Learning something new always starts with failure
Realizing this pattern, you may first feel a shock. But let the teenager make mistakes and rejoice at their mistakes, although this may be difficult for you. This extremely important skill must be developed by all parents. Of course, no one wants their children to fail, but in an independent life, failure is inevitable. The teenager should be ready for this.
Almost all famous and successful people have failed at least once in their lives. Failure is not the end of the world. Moreover, failure is the first step to success, and most importantly, do not stop there.
Explain this to your child. This will help him cope with stress and anxiety while continuing to move toward his intended goal.
3. Thinking that leads to development
According to neuroscience research, the human brain develops daily throughout life. Brain development is influenced by our daily activities. Explain to the child that everything he does affects his development. This will help to organize leisure activities correctly.
If a teenager has achieved certain results, do not just praise him, but help to understand how he can apply the acquired skills and where to move on. For example, getting high marks in school, he can rejoice that he studies best in class. And, of course, this is commendable. But at the same time, you must motivate him to further development and new achievements.
The main principle of development is quite simple: do not try to surpass others – try to surpass yourself. Put more and more effort into it. Use this principle when raising your teenager.