How to deal with a child’s anxiety after the holidays
Many parents and even some children are happy to accept the start of a new school year. If a child can easily get up at 6 a.m., if he likes to learn lessons, he is probably looking forward to the start of a new school year. He is waiting for a meeting with classmates and lessons in which he can learn something new.
However, not all children like to go to school. For those children who do not like to learn and get up early, the beginning of the school year causes severe stress and negative emotions – anxiety, frustration and fear.
To cope with such negative emotions, you must first find out what exactly caused them. Unfortunately, people do not understand the true reasons for their feelings. If the child does not like going to school, he says: “They don’t teach me anything there,” “Teacher doesn’t love me,” etc. With the help of such phrases he protects himself from negative feelings about what can happen at school.
Parents can take measures so that the school year does not turn into an endless confrontation with the child. In particular, you can use five specific steps.
1. Set a special schedule at the end of summer
Children especially like the fact that there is no need to rush anywhere in the summer. The alarm clock is off, lessons can not be remembered until the end of the holidays. Such a relaxed state will only interfere with the child during the school year.
To succeed in school, the child needs discipline and a clear schedule. Psychological studies show that children who are preparing for the school schedule in advance are more likely to experience positive emotions about school, and their academic performance is higher than that of their peers.
You can teach your child the skills to plan their time and during the holidays. To do this, you can offer him to compile to-do lists for the day. This will form a discipline in the child, which will be very useful for him during the school year.
2. Set reasonable expectations
Most often, students are stressed because they consider themselves unable to meet the expectations of parents and teachers. When children believe that they lack the intelligence to succeed, they stop making efforts and become interested in learning.
Parents should help their child learn lessons and encourage their interest in learning. Conversely, if they give the child unrealistic expectations (for example, they require that he study only “excellently”), this can have unpleasant consequences for him. Many students mistakenly believe that they should immediately grasp all the learning material on the fly. If parents explain to their child that learning new material takes time and effort, it will ease their stress. He must understand that to endure failure from time to time is normal. The child should be thanked for his courage when he admits that he does not know something.
3. Do not compare your child with peers
Among other things, students may be reluctant to return to school due to the fact that they feel bad when compared to others. Comparisons severely limit a child’s behavior and prevent him from achieving his own goals. A child often compares himself to smarter and more popular classmates and makes him feel worse. From this, he develops social anxiety. Conversely, if such a comparison is in favor of the child, he may have a false sense of superiority over others. Any comparison, when the goals and objectives of a child are reduced to surpassing another, can lead to failure.
Parents can help the child in such cases. It is necessary to compare the child not with others, but with him in the past. When a child realizes that he is better than before, he will feel pride in his achievements. He will associate the school with positive emotions, and not with failures or disappointments.
4. Focus your child on the positive points.
Let’s face it: for many children, returning to school after the holidays is associated with the fact that now they will have to get up early, put a lot of effort to study and spend less time on their favorite activities. However, the school also gives the child many advantages that he cannot take advantage of in the summer. At school, a child can communicate with friends, socialize, attend various circles and sections. Do not forget that at school the child constantly learns something new.
Studies by neuroscientists show that the development of new skills and abilities gives a person a sensation similar to that of monetary gain or material reward. Therefore, parents should turn the attention of the child to the benefits that the school gives him. If a child thinks that studying at school is beneficial, his motivation to study will increase markedly.
5. Help your child with school and give him emotional support
Contrary to popular belief, the child’s academic performance at school depends not only on his efforts. School achievements are the result of the joint efforts of three parties: the child, teachers and parents.