How to deal with an uncontrolled child
There are many ways to control a child, and as parents, you probably know that well. Surely you have the rules and consequences that you set for the child.
But sometimes children get completely out of control. This enrages parents and, naturally, causes them concern. If you are familiar with this situation, do not rush to despair. In this article, we will look at some tips on how to deal with an uncontrolled child.
Reasons for a child to get out of control
There may be many reasons why a child may become uncontrollable. Here are some of them:
the child requires attention, not feeling loved and confident enough;
the child feels a physical malaise or strong negative emotions;
the child is faced with a difficult situation at school (bullying of classmates, a change of teachers, lack of friends at school, etc.);
the child is upset because of the situation in the family (parental divorce, relocation, etc.);
parents do not establish any consequences for the child and penalties for his misconduct. He is sure that he will get away with it.
How to deal with an uncontrolled child. If the child is out of control, parents can take certain measures.
1. Install power
Of course, all parents want to be friends with their children. Nobody wants to find fault with trifles. But first of all, you must be an authority for the child and take care of his well-being. The child himself needs it. He already has friends, but he will not have other parents besides you. Therefore, be the authority for the child.
What to do
your child may behave badly because he does not understand what is good and what is bad. Teach him how to behave at home and on the street, but how not to;
Encourage your child to communicate with you. Ask him questions and be careful what he tells you. Parents need to know how their child lives in order to determine what is bothering him. This will help determine the cause of his behavior. Perhaps he suffers from behavioral disorders and needs the help of a psychologist. Or maybe he is being bullied at school or he just requires your attention;
always be aware of where your child is. Teens often hide from their parents where and with whom they spend time. This may be a sign of certain problems.
2. Define the rules
It is not enough just to tell the child: “Behave yourself.” His and your notions of good behavior may vary. Check the rules with your child so that there is no ambiguity in them. For example, you can clearly say what actions you expect from a child (“Always make a bed in the morning” or “Never take a mobile phone with you at the table”). Set the rules according to the age of the child. Some rules are suitable for children of all ages. But if you have two children of different ages (for example, a preschooler and a teenager), you probably need to develop different rules for them.
What to do
establish order in the house. When all things happen in a certain order, the child feels safe. Knowing what and when to do, he better controls his behavior. Thanks to your authority and established rules, the child will know that bad behavior is unacceptable;
explain the rules so that the child understands their importance. Does an older child beat a younger? Tell your older child how it upsets you and why this behavior is unacceptable.
3. Set the consequences
Rules without rewards and punishments are ineffective. The child should know that if he behaves badly, this will not get away with him.
What to do
make it a rule to encourage good child behavior. This will make him realize that good behavior is good. Also, the child will be less likely to exhibit bad behavior to attract your attention;
establish penalties that can affect the behavior of the child. For example, for a certain time, you can forbid your child to watch TV or play computer games;
Pay attention to the good behavior of the child. If he falls into tantrums, do not take this into account, otherwise you will unconsciously reward his bad behavior with your attention.
4. Keep your promises.
Empty threats will not help you control your child. If you have identified consequences for your child’s behavior, follow them. If you do not, the child will probably begin to abuse your kindness and take advantage of it.
What to do
determine for yourself what punishments you can apply to your child. If you do not dare to deprive the child of dessert – do not threaten him with this. You do not want the child to perceive you as parents who do not keep their word?
make a list of rewards and punishments that you will apply. So you will be ready to act in a situation when you need to show your authority. Here you will need your confidence. The child will feel that there is a trait that cannot be crossed.