Children learn love by watching their parents.
Children always learn by observing those around them, especially their parents, and, like a sponge, absorb all the behaviors that they notice about their father and mother. Everything that children see at home, they begin to consider normal behavior. Therefore, relationships with your spouse have a lasting effect on your children. Watching you, children form an idea of what love is. And these ideas are preserved throughout life.
How your relationship with your spouse affects your child’s upbringing
Some couples consider it quite normal to demonstrate love and intimacy in the presence of children, for others it causes embarrassment. Watching their parents, children adopt an understanding of love from them. In particular, children learn from parents the following manifestations of close relationships.
1. Manifestation of proximity
In some families, it is customary to cuddle and show other forms of physical contact. Children from such families grow up open and sociable people. They easily express love and get along well with others.
Children from more conservative families often have difficulty expressing emotions and are shy.
2. The ability to forgive
Parents who communicate in elevated tones and shout at each other without suspecting it, teach children what aggressive behavior is – a good way to show their love.
However, if a child sees that his parents are able to forgive each other, he will learn to value relationships with another person and ask for forgiveness in cases where it is wrong.
If parents are interested in each other, how their day went, the child understands that communication is extremely important for love. Therefore, he himself will strive to be more sociable, polite and honest.
If parents lack communication, the child may not understand how important it is to express their feelings. Growing up, he becomes closed and unable to open up to his friends and close people.
4. Respect and support
If parents respect each other and provide mutual support, the child understands that love means respect.
But if one of the spouses always seeks to change the other, it may be difficult for a child in the future to love the other person for who he is. In any situation, he will blame the other person and look for flaws in him.
5. Physical and emotional intimacy
If both parents put off all their affairs from time to time to spend time with each other, the child learns that love does not fade, even when two people are forced to spend time away from each other.
On the other hand, if the parents are so attached to each other that they stop communicating with friends and do what they liked before, the child concludes that without physical intimacy, love is impossible.
If parents trust each other, the child understands how important this is in a relationship. At an older age, he trusts people more easily, does not suffer from suspicion and is not afraid of relationships.
On the other hand, a child who feels that his parents ’marriage is unstable begins to think:“ The worst should always be expected. ” He becomes secretive, and this complicates his relationship with other people.
In some families, it is not customary for a husband to help his wife with household chores. A child who grows up in such a family can conclude that following such rules and family traditions is more important than love.
On the other hand, parents helping each other in all matters make it clear to the child that equality is important in family life. This applies not only to homework. Both parents should respect each other’s work and provide mutual assistance in every way.
A well-known saying is: “The child does not learn what you tell him, but what you do.” Children learn life values by seeing how parents treat each other. Your child is a reflection of you and your spouse. Make sure you set a good example for him.